Dallin and Erin Jo

There's room for a little more...

2011-12-23T00:23:00.000-05:00

Well with my due date only two days away, I think I ought to wrap this trimester series up. Just like Frodo Baggins couldn't recall the taste of food or touch of grass at the end of his quest to destroy the one ring of power, I am finding it difficult to recall what it feels like to not be pregnant. Not a day has gone by these past nine months that I haven't been mindful of the life that has been growing inside of me, and it really seems surreal knowing that this part of the journey is coming to a close. Unlike Frodo though, I don't plan on casting my precious (i.e., my baby) into the fires of Mount Doom at the end of all of this....maybe that goes without saying.

And so the last trimester with a guaranteed epic finale to come...

At the beginning of this trimester, our baby boy's hearing system is already fully developed and he can listen to what is going on outside the womb. I've heard of mothers who would play the same music every day during their pregnancy and later, after their baby was born, this same music would be a great soothing tool for them. If this holds true for our little one, he should have no problem falling asleep to the theme song for Parks and Recreation...

26 weeks
I start a six week prenatal Pilates course. There are probably nine other women in the class, and with the exception of one, I am the furthest along in my pregnancy. I have to admit that I loved the point when I started meeting other women whose due dates were later than mine. I'm classy about it though, and won't rub it in....at least not out loud. The Pilates course was great overall except by the end of it, I still wasn't sure if I was engaging my pelvic floor. Whenever we went through this exercise the instructor would remind us not to clinch our butt cheeks....I would unclinch. Also "don't tighten your abs." I'd loosen my abs. Most of the time I just sat there imagining my pelvic floor was engaged and hoping that that would do the trick.

31 weeks
I love getting to know this boy and feel like his personality is already becoming evident. We have a game we play. He'll stick a little foot or knee out and create a little bump in my belly. I'll grab a hold of it between my fingers and give it a little pinch. Usually he'll retreat back into the confines of my uterus when I do this, but maybe ten seconds later he'll try a different spot and the game continues. I affectionately call it the velociraptor game. He's testing the fences, but he never attacks the same place twice. He "reMEMbers"....(she says in her best South African big-game hunter accent)

Note: This game maybe won't make sense if you haven't seen Jurassic Park...which, if that's the case, frankly is un-American.

34 weeks
I stop jogging at this point in my pregnancy. I'm sure it was very entertaining for the other people at the gym, though, to watch a 34 weeks pregnant woman huffing and puffing at a 12 minute mile pace while blaring Jay-Z's Brush Your Shoulders Off from her headphones...especially when she would occasionally make the motion of brushing her shoulders off. What can I say, pregnant ladies is pimps, too.

35 weeks
I start to slack on some of my personal hygiene habits. Before church one Sunday I think, "I should probably shave my legs today." I get in the shower, look down, and cry, "Where the hell are my legs?!" A bit of a dark moment for me.

36 weeks
We are in disbelief that the last month has arrived! Christmastime is here, but instead of visions of sugarplums dancing, Dallin and I have words like "mucus plug", "Braxton Hicks", and "cervical dilation" floating around in our heads. Lovely, right? Your vocabulary really does change and expand during pregnancy.

39 weeks and 5 days
So here we are, almost 40 weeks later and our lives about to change in a big way. An adventure in the truest sense of the word. Dallin and I are so excited and ready to meet this newest member of our family. We are amazed at how much we already love this baby boy. It's hard to articulate, so maybe I'll stop trying...

My sister called me the other day saying she had a dream that I showed up at her door in labor and proceeded to give birth there in her apartment. She said it all happened very quickly and easily. When I heard this I started to hope that maybe my sister possessed some sort of clairvoyant ability. This hope was dashed when she told me the second part of her dream where we wrapped the baby up, left the apartment and immediately found ourselves in the midst of the zombie apocalypse having to fight off the undead.

Welcome to the 2nd Trimester..

2011-12-05T16:00:00.001-05:00

I like to refer to the 2nd trimester as the Gilded Age of my pregnancy...not because it was characterized by a rapidly expanding economy or political corruption, but rather a rapidly expanding waistline and the corruption of my figure. Yes, a few weeks into the 2nd trimester, my nausea began to subside and my appetite returned with a vengeance. What followed was a veritable smorgasbord--pizza in Del Mar, CA, fish tacos in San Diego, raspberry milkshakes at Bear Lake, Shake Shack in NYC...my justification for this last one was "Hey, I only get Shake Shack when I'm in New York, so it's okay," but then they opened a location here in DC, and I knew I was in trouble. And then there were the bananas. I went bananas for bananas around 15 weeks and haven't really stopped eating them since. I asked Dallin, "If our baby comes out as a monkey, will you still love it as your own?"

Other note-worthies of the 2nd trimester:

13 Weeks:

I have the song "Baby Mine" (from the movie Dumbo) stuck in my head all day. Dallin is on the computer that evening, and I ask him to pull up the song on YouTube. I hadn't seen Dumbo since I was a kid and had forgotten that this particular song is part of a scene where Dumbo gets to briefly visit his locked up mom. About 10 seconds into the scene, I start crying...really crying. Dallin looks bewildered. I manage to get out, "I'm sorry, Dallin, *sniffle* but he just...*hiccup*..wants to be..*sob*...with his mother!" and then dissolve back into uncontrollable tears as I retreat into our bedroom because I'm so embarrassed by my meltdown. Somewhere floating above this whole episode is the very small, non-hormonal part of me shaking her head, chastising, "Geez, Erin, keep it together, it's only a cartoon elephant."

17 Weeks:

Dallin and I are stuck in beltway traffic. As we were sitting there cursing all the other drivers around us, I noticed what felt like popcorn popping in my lower abdomen. "Dallin! I think I can feel the baby!"..."Really?!"..."Yes, really!" We both smile. This is for real. Not a bad way to be stuck on 495 for 45 minutes.

18 Weeks:

Spent in San Diego, CA for my brother's wedding. There are a lot of beautiful people in California, and I decide that maybe it isn't the best place to go when you perpetually feel like you've eaten a large lunch.

19 Weeks:

It's a BOY! When we get this news at my sonogram appointment, one of the first things that enters my mind is a story my mother-in-law once told me about Dallin.

When he was 2 years old, he escaped from his crib during nap time in order to "make brownies." He sneaked into the kitchen, turned the oven on High, filled a baking pan with DUPLO Legos, and then greased the entire kitchen floor with a stick of butter. My MIL had dozed off after putting Dallin down for his nap and awoke to the smell of the smoke billowing out of the oven. She ran into the kitchen only to go sliding on her back across the butter-slick floor. Looking up from the floor, she sees Dallin perched high up on one of the counter-tops.

As I lie there watching this little boy wiggling around on the monitor, I start to wonder if there are stories like this in my future...

24 Weeks:

By the end of this trimester some of our baby boy's stronger kicks became visible from the outside. I'd be laying on the couch and notice a concentrated area of my stomach bulge out for a second. Friends would ask me, "Is it crazy to see your belly moving like that?" My answer would somehow inevitably include a comparison to the scene in Alien when the alien bursts out of the guy's chest. This analogy was usually met with something between disturbed and disgusted looks, and I privately told Dallin that maybe I should stop likening our child to a parasitic extraterrestrial life-form.

It was also during the 2nd trimester that Dallin and I bought new couches. In the 4+ years of our marriage we had been making do with a hand-me-down futon that would probably look more at home in the apartment of a college undergrad. Whenever we invited guests to sit on it, I felt like I should also offer them a remote control to play Mario Kart or perhaps a cup of Ramen noodles. Needless to say, Dallin and I were feeling very "adult" when we walked into the furniture store to look for a more grown-up replacement. Maybe we felt a little insecure, too--like we didn't really belong there. We kept looking for a placard that said "You must have been born before [this date] in order to buy furniture." I'm sure as the salesman swiped our credit card the looks on our faces were something akin to underage kids trying to buy alcohol with a fake ID--sort of wide-eyed, holding our breath. "Really? Is he going to let us get away with buying these brand new couches?! Okay, just play it cool. You're almost in the clear..."

I can only imagine what kind of existential crises we'll go through when they let us leave the hospital by ourselves with a newborn baby...

36 Weeks in Review: A 3-Trimester Series

2011-11-29T12:02:00.001-05:00

"How far along are you?" This is a question I get asked a lot now being a woman with child. Before getting pregnant I was always a little confused when I asked this question to other expectant mothers and they answered "Oh, I'm 17 (23, 32, etc) weeks along.." Weeks? My follow-up was usually, "Wait, so how many months are you?" (because I'm too mathematically lazy and have apparently forgotten how to calculate simple division in my head...) The point being I never really understood why they measured their pregnancy so faithfully in weeks.

Then I got knocked up and without even realizing when I had begun, I found myself measuring and living my life in weekly increments. I had crossed over. I felt like I was a member of an exclusive club or secret society. Like most members-only organizations, the pregnancy club came with certain perks (feeling those first little kicks from your baby, parking spots for expectant mothers), but it also came with what I like to think of as the equivalent to ritual hazing (morning sickness, round ligament pain, when those sweet baby kicks turn into bicycle kicks to your ribs.) It has been a ride to say the least, and with my prego club membership set to expire, or at least to go inactive, in about a month, I thought I'd share with you some of the ups and downs of the past 36 weeks. That's right....weeks.

4 weeks:

"I'm pregnant!" This is what I practically shouted at the woman I passed as I was jogging that morning back in April. That's right-- the first person to know about my pregnancy wasn't my husband, but a complete stranger running along the George Washington Memorial Parkway trail. With 6 months of negative results behind us, I had half-heartedly taken a pregnancy test that morning after Dallin had left for work and was a little stunned when the test along with 2 more all came back positive. Dallin wasn't due back home till that evening, and by the time I started my run, I'd overcome my initial astonishment and was so elated that I couldn't hold my good news in any longer.

6 weeks:

Morning (noon, and night) sickness has started to set in, and I was feeling oh-so-yucky. Little did I know at this point that it would get worse before it got better. Osama bin Laden was killed around this time. I remember we didn't find out about it until the morning after President Obama announced it, as we had both turned in early the night before. I was lying in bed feeling nauseous and in no hurry to get up while Dallin was getting ready for work. He came in and said, "So apparently they killed Osama bin Laden."

"Really?" I mumbled, "Where?...How?"

"A team of Navy Seals raided the compound where he was hiding and shot him in the head."

"Oh..............I wish a team of Navy Seals would storm in right now and shoot ME in the head."

7 Weeks:

My mom and brother, Jeremy, come for a short visit---my mom to commiserate with me and my brother to try out a pizza place in DC that he saw on the Travel channel. Jeremy tells me that my nausea is all in my head. I tell him that if he doesn't shut up, he's going to get b*tch slapped. My language took a turn for the worse during the first trimester.

8 Weeks:

My first Dr. appointment, and I get to see our little raspberry for the first time, fluttering heartbeat and all. Wow!

11 Weeks:

My little sister, Katie, comes for a visit. We have so much fun. We go out to lunch, I throw up, we watch funny movies, I throw up again, we browse around the thrift stores and boutiques in Old Town, I throw up some more. We swim laps at the pool and talk/laugh so obnoxiously loud that I'm sure everyone there is annoyed by us but also secretly wishes they had a close sibling bond like ours. She gave me back rubs, cleaned our apartment, and bought baby clothes. When it came time for her to leave there was a lot of weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth on my part. I love my sister.

12 Weeks:

Dallin and I go to my 2nd prenatal check-up and are able to hear our wee one's heartbeat. What a wonderful sound! 161 beats/minute. Dr. also does a quick ultrasound, and we see baby's hands and feet waving to us. Lots of somersaults, too. We are amazed and pumped for the next two trimesters.

2nd Trimester Preview: What makes Dallin and Erin feel like adults? also, Erin's appetite returns in a big way.

BFF

2011-10-24T14:40:00.000-04:00

In August we were able to have one last weekend with two of our favorite units before one unit moved to India for a fellowship and the other got stationed in San Diego with the Navy. We are grateful for the fun year we had living halfway between NYC and Norfolk and these wonderful friends. We miss them. Here are some snapshots from that weekend...

In front of the United States Supreme Court

How might we show reverence for the highest court in all the land? By playing tag amid the 3 rows of courthouse columns. In our defense, it was a very quiet game of tag.

A living reenactment of Neptune's Fountain in front of the Library of Congress

Friends!

It's also great to be a Speight/Lopez

2011-10-05T12:23:00.001-04:00

My brother, Eric, recently got hitched to a beautiful California girl named Rochelle. She is also probably one of the sweetest, kindest girls I've ever met, making it impossible to dislike her even if I had wanted to. Their wedding in the San Diego LDS Temple came at a most opportune time as Washington DC was about to enter the most grueling heat wave of the summer. We were glad to escape the 100+ degree DC heat and humidity for the breezy, 70-degree weather of southern California. We are also glad to welcome Rochelle to our family. It's been great to see the Speight/Lopez bunch expand and evolve over the past 5 years. First Dallin, then Kenny, and now Rochelle--and soon we'll have baby Merrill in the mix as well! Ah, family! It really is the most important thing. Well, after breakfast, that is.

Welcome to the family, Rochelle! (I am about 19 weeks along in this picture and wanted to put as many people between me and her as possible.)

Eric and Rochelle Lopez
I know. Their babies will likely star in commercials for some sort of baby fragrance by Chanel (which I won't be able to afford)

Katie and Kenny Griffin
Another Texas/California couple with lots of brains, beauty and white teeth in their DNA strands. I love them.

San Diego Temple

Eric serenading Rochelle at the dinner following the ceremony.

Kenny's uncle (who looks like the manager for the Tampa Bay Rays) let Katie and Mallori take his car for a spin around the block.

Boogie-boarding in San Clemente.

Dallin and I spent our last day at La Jolla cove.

It's great to be a Merrill...

2011-10-03T09:59:00.000-04:00

We flew out to Utah back in early July for Amanda and Stuart's wedding. They were married in the LDS Temple there in Logan, UT. The day was beautiful. Beautiful marriage, beautiful weather, and beautiful mountains. Oh how I love and miss the mountains! There was plenty of quality Merrill-family fun to be had as well. We spent the weekend up at Bear Lake playing volleyball and frisbee and Bananagrams, drinking raspberry milkshakes, making S'mores ("You're killing me, Smalls!"), and sunning ourselves on the trampoline. It was all so very wholesome and soul-gratifying, you could have set us in any number of Norman Rockwell paintings...

Bear Lake

Bryce and Natalie are getting married next weekend!

The culmination of this vacation came in the form of the annual Merrill family "Barbie"-cue held at Uncle Bill and Aunt Sheralee's house. For the past 5 years I have been hearing about this family tradition but had not had the opportunity to attend/participate until this year. Here's how it works:

Each year has a specific theme. This theme serves as an umbrella for all the families to work under when creating their displays/dioramas. Aside from staying within the theme, the only other rule is that each submission needs to have at least one Barbie as part of its display (I hope I'm getting this right). The goal is to then pack your display with as much firepower as possible....hence the name "Barbie"-cue. This year's theme was Sci-Fi and below are the BEFORE shots of the various submissions...

Terminator

Avatar (blue Barbies!)

Jaws

Star Trek (which ended up winning)

Explosives packed under the forward console

Star Wars (they even painted the Barbie's face like Darth Maul)

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Hitchcock's The Birds

Dallin and I worked with Bryce and Natalie on Cowboys and Aliens. The movie hadn't been released yet, so we advertised it as a coming attraction. We poured lighter fluid in the water tower.

Our Barbie tied to the train tracks.

And the AFTER shots...

Her leg was completely blown off.

Captain Kirk catches fire.

The Enterprise up in flames.

And the charred remains...

Dallin's final preparations.

Not even our little green men survived the attack.

So it's a tradition that allows for one to be both creative and destructive. A bit morbid? Maybe. Especially given how much everyone loved surveying the blackened and burnt Barbies once the flames were put out. But it's nights like this when I really feel that I married into the right family.

Drop Me Off in Harlem

2011-09-26T12:19:00.000-04:00

As I was trying to think of a title for this blog post, it really hit me just how many songs have been written about the great city of New York. A plethora. I went with Drop Me Off in Harlem because that is what I wanted to scream at the bus driver as we waited in traffic on 28th street---plus who doesn't love Duke Ellington?

I did finally make it up to M&O's apartment in Harlem and here's the rest of the story....

Adam and Antonio had their big party/reception at a science lab in the Bronx. Neat, huh? Lots of great food! Too bad I was still feeling a little too sick with baby to enjoy all of it.

We all loved watching the adult bicycle lessons going on across the street from the Elliott's apartment. Motivation that it's never too late to learn ANYTHING! I came home and promptly enrolled in sailing, watercolor, and banjo classes...(ok, not really, but I will!)

Good food with better friends and plenty of laughing in Central Park. I laughed so hard at one point that I almost did something else embarrassing. Did you know that your bladder is not your own when you get pregnant?

Beautiful blooms in Washington Square Park

Shakespeare in the Park: Measure for Measure

"Our doubts are traitors,

And make us lose the good we oft might win

By fearing to attempt."

This was my favorite line from the play, and I felt like it was embodied in this guy we came across on a secluded sidewalk of Washington Square park. He was listening to his IPod and working on his dance moves. I don't think he was doing it to attract an audience as he was in a lower traffic area---he just wanted to dance.

Our Big, Fat Summer of Weddings!

2011-09-20T14:09:00.000-04:00

Yikes! I have a lot to blog about and have been slacking these past few months! So way back when it really was much too early to be making plans, Dallin and I thought it'd be fun to take a vacation up to Maine during the summer. I have been aching to go hiking in Acadia National Park and watch the sun rise from Cadillac mountain. That was before our vacation days started getting eaten up by those wonderful celebrations we call weddings! Even though we were a little bummed to postpone Maine (maybe next summer?), we agreed that destinations like NYC, Utah, and San Diego were pretty decent trade-offs. Congratulations to our friends and family. We're so blessed we could celebrate with you, and we love you so so much!

Adam and Antonio

Stuart and Amanda

Eric and Rochelle

More posts on each of these trips to come soon! Really. I'm serious.

All the News That's Fit to Print

2011-07-09T16:09:00.000-04:00

Due to summer traveling and life in general, this post comes a bit late, but Dallin's handsome/pensive face was pictured in "the Gray Lady" back in June just below this nominee's right arm.

This photo was taken back in December at a Senate Confirmation Hearing. Dallin was happy that is was from a Senate hearing as the Senate tends to carry more gravitas than the House.

There has been no living with Dallin since his appearance in the NYT, which really is inconvenient since there was already no living with me and my high-maintenance pregnancy hormones. So if you have plans to come visit us in the near future, know that you'll have two divas to put up with.

I'll try to post about trips to NYC and Utah soon.

Dallin, Erin, and Dirk: A Love Triangle

2011-06-12T23:03:00.000-04:00

The first time I visited Highland Village to meet Dallin's parents was in the Fall of 2006. Dallin and I had gotten pretty serious by that point, so I was serious about making a good impression. How serious? I dried and straightened my hair every day we were there. Not even the Texas humidity would foil my good impression.

Dallin's dad had gotten us tickets for a Dallas Mavericks pre-season game. I had never been to a professional basketball game and didn't know much about the sport. I did know that Dallin was a big fan of the Mavs, and I knew that to some degree he wanted to convert me, too. Once we got to the American Airlines Center, Dallin insisted that I buy a t-shirt from the gift shop. The gift shop was busy, and the only shirt I found that looked like a good size for me was a kids shirt with a 41 on it.

Me: "Who is #41? Is he good?"
Dallin: "Oh yeah, that's Dirk Nowitzki's number. He's the team's all-star. You'll like him."
Me: "Ok. Well I guess I'll get this one then." (as I shrug my shoulders and head to the register)

As soon as the teams came on to the court to warm up, I looked for my guy. I felt an obligatory sense of loyalty to the player whose number I was wearing. By the end of the game, obligation had nothing to do with it. I was in love with Dirk Nowitzki. I wondered if Dallin suspected anything.

The Mavs won the game, and we all left in a celebratory mood. I think the fact that I had obviously enjoyed the game scored points with Dallin and his family. That and my impressive Star Wars pumpkin-carving skills.

Fast forward 4+ years and many Mavs games later, Dallin and I are married and living in the DC area. I suggest to Dal one day, "Maybe you could ask Jake if he'd be able to get us tickets when the Mavericks come to town to play the Wizards..." Our friend, Jake, works for the Washington Wizards. Dallin is jealous of his job.

Jake did get us tickets. Amazing tickets! (Thanks again, Jake!) We were seated about 5 rows up from the court. If Dallin hadn't suspected anything during the previous 4 years, his suspicions were certainly roused at this game..."Erin Jo, you're only taking pictures of Dirk.."

Any lingering doubt was erased when, after a fantastic performance by Dirk and a Mavericks win, I turned to Dallin and announced "Honey, if I ever leave you, it will be for Dirk Nowitzki."

At this point, Dallin knew that he needed some security. What would keep me from catching a flight to Dallas and flinging myself at Dirk's feet? He decided that the only foolproof solution was to get me pregnant. So he did. And he was right.

Now we can enjoy watching this amazing Finals series together with the assurance that I'm not leaving him for a 7-foot German All-Star and that our baby is being instilled with a love for the Mavs while in the womb.

Dallin tells me that if the baby is a boy we can name him Dirk.

Easter

2011-04-24T12:26:00.001-04:00

“Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen”

"The simple words—‘He is not here, but is risen’—have become the most profound in all literature. They are the declaration of the empty tomb. They are the fulfillment of all He had spoken concerning rising again. They are the triumphant response to the query facing every man, woman, and child who is ever born to earth.

Thanks be to the Almightly. His glorified Son broke the bonds of death, the greatest of all victories. As Paul declared, ‘For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive” (1 Cor. 15:22)

He is our triumphant Lord. He is our Redeemer, who atoned for our sins. Through His redeeming sacrifice all men shall rise from the grave. He has opened the way whereby we may gain not only immortality but also eternal life." --Gordon B. Hinckley

Luggage, penguins, Vonnegut. In other words, an ode to Marriage.

2011-04-13T12:16:00.001-04:00

Dallin and I recently celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary. Marrying Dallin is probably the best decision I've made in my life. It ranks right up there with the decision to bid on that 4-piece luggage set at my "Chem Free" high school graduation party. Seriously, 8 years and innumerable trips later, I am still using that luggage....

On our anniversary, I bought Dallin some clothes. This may seem rather unromantic, but Dallin will not buy clothes for himself. I just recently succeeded in convincing him to get rid of a shirt that he has had since his sophomore year of high school.

I also bought a card that had a picture of two penguins on the front. Who doesn't love penguins? When I was a child, one of my favorite movies to watch was a Japanese-Soviet (odd?) produced animated film called The Adventures of Scamper the Penguin.

Stuff that I like about penguins: They share in the responsibilities of parenthood, they're so adorable when they walk, and in some species, the male will search out the smoothest, best-looking rocks/pebbles and present them to the female during courtship. Sweet. And very anthropomorphic.

A couple of months ago, I was reading the book Cat's Cradle. Kurt Vonnegut is Dallin's favorite author, and when I was just a few pages in to the book, he told me, "You and I make up a true duprass"...."What's a duprass?"...."You'll find out." This is what I found out...

A duprass is "a karass composed of only two persons". The two members of a duprass live lives that revolve around each other, and are therefore often married. The members of a duprass die within a week of each other. A duprass "is a valuable instrument for gaining and developing, in the privacy of an interminable love affair, insights that are queer but true." It "is also a sweetly conceited establishment."

Dallin is such a sentimental fool.

I won't attempt to rival Vonnegut, but in the past 4 years, here's what I have especially loved about our marriage and about Dallin...

Road trips together. Pillow talk into the early hours of the morning. Deep conversations. Simple conversations. Being absolutely silly and myself and not having to worry if he thinks I'm too weird (well, he knows I'm too weird, but he still loves me.) Encouraging one another. The way he dedicates himself in everything he does--law school, church assignments, work, life. Traveling together (he is the perfect companion, and he lets me have the aisle seat.) He speaks Spanish beautifully. He is always patient in helping me with my own Spanish. The way he can converse thoroughly on topics ranging from Gothic architecture to mortgage-backed securities to Star Wars to 20th century Abstract Expressionism...(though I admit, I usually tune him out when it's mortgage-backed securities) Always having someone I can talk to about the books I'm reading. Planning for the future. Going to the batting cages for date night (sometimes they're closed, so we get ice cream instead.) He always turns the lights out and locks the door at night before we go to bed. He buys me chocolate---and when it starts to become a serious problem, I'm sure he will be the one to organize and stage an intervention.

I think this list really could go on forever, so it's a good thing that I have forever with him. In short, Dallin, and to quote the Bard, "I do love nothing in the world so well as you."

Just a few more pictures from Mexico

2011-03-15T12:39:00.000-04:00

This morning as Dallin and I were getting ready for work, he let out a sad sigh and said, "At this time four weeks ago we were in the airport getting ready to leave for Mexico..." Silence as we both remembered.

Recollections like this have been a sort of variation on a theme for the past month, with one or the other or both of us bemoaning the lapse in time since our trip. "A week ago today we were snorkeling with those giant sea turtles in Akumal"..."It was two weeks ago when we watched the sun set at Punta Sur" or "Remember how we completely cleaned that one taco place out of flan?" or "when those two big iguanas were chasing each other and one of them rubbed up against my leg as it ran by me?"

The money we put toward our Mexico trip was originally intended for a television. We were tired of people asking us when we were going to get one. We didn't want to be perceived as those kind of people who are supercilious and haughty about not having a TV --you know the type.

However, we've realized that we are the kind of people who tend to value experiences over material gadgets (and, yes, this time we are being a tad haughty) and so decided to go to Mexico instead. It will be nice when we buy a TV and don't have to watch movies on our computer anymore, but I don't think we will mark the number of weeks that pass from the day we purchased it. I really don't.

Would you say I have a plethora of pictures?

2011-02-28T11:31:00.001-05:00

When posting about a trip, I always feel divided on whether or not I should write anything simply because I have plenty of photo documentation already. I don't even like to include all of my pictures in one post, so this will just be the first installment of Mexico 2011.

And it's decided--no more words, just pictures. Maybe I'll write more in the 2nd installment. Maybe the 2nd installment will take on a bit darker and more sinister tone, too. Maybe the 2nd installment of our Mexico trip will be what The Empire Strikes Back was to A New Hope or what The Dark Knight was to Batman Begins or what Weekend at Bernie's 2 was to Weekend at Bernie's...

Right. Anyway,

Hybernation

2011-01-27T15:23:00.000-05:00

I'm not a winter person. Once the holidays are over, the cold becomes nearly unbearable. I start fantasizing about white, sandy beaches, about how my skin holds in the sun's warmth at the end of a summer day, about sweet, juicy watermelon. I want to wear flip flops or no shoes at all and let my piggies run free. I want to eat outside and wear my swimsuit all day long and read books by the pool.

I miss being warm.

While my daydreams of summer remain just that--daydreams--I have

This

to keep me laughing,

This

to keep me relaxed,

This

to keep me informed,

This

to keep me sane,

This

to keep me depressed,

And this

to keep me going.

Relief, thy name is Mexico. 18 more days till warmth.

January 10, 1954 - January 20, 2009

2011-01-20T10:19:00.000-05:00

Al Speight

Last night I watched one of my favorite movies, The Land Before Time. This movie has very sad moments and always makes me cry, but I think there are a lot of simple truths in it. When Littlefoot is feeling sad and lonely after the death of his mother, he runs into the dinosaur "Old" Rooter. After Rooter learns about Littlefoot's mom, Littlefoot asks him, "What'll I do? I miss her so much."

Rooter answers,

"And you’ll always miss her. But she’ll always be with you, as long as you remember the things she taught you. In a way, you’ll never be apart, for you’re still a part of each other."

I like that.
And I love and miss my dad.

Some things...

2011-01-09T15:30:00.001-05:00

There are some things that I want to blog about, but I don't necessarily do it right away. This is not because they are insignificant things. On the contrary, they are usually very significant things, which means I have a lot of pictures of said significant things. Pictures take a long time to upload, so I procrastinate. Then a new year arrives, and all of those significant things from the past year that I want to blog about start flooding my brain until my head explodes...

Thing # 1

In October, my best bud Becky "Bopper" Bolster got married to Levi Lundell from Arizona on October 7, 2010! The wedding was everything lovely, praiseworthy, and of good report. It was such a great time, and they make a wonderful unit. I am so elated for ju two and love you so much!

Levi and Rebekah Lundell

Bex was absolutely stunning, and they wowed everyone on the dance floor (I stole this picture from her Facebook profile)

"Um..Erin, the zipper is snagging my hair.."

"Don't worry about it, Bex, just smile for the camera."

Apparently fish tacos make me crazy. This was at The Cove in San Antonio--just so we're clear, they don't kill dolphins here.

Oliver would do anything for Selenas.

"What? Adam doesn't like Texas BBQ? Really?!"

The day after the wedding was my birthday. We spent it playing at the beach. Margy is looking out for dogs pooping in the water. Adam is stubbornly refusing to like Rudy's BBQ. I'm not sure what Oliver is doing... It's great to spend birthdays with friends.

Mariachi at the wedding reception

Levi and Becky "go big or go home", even when it comes to cutting the cake.

Adam and I both wanted to document Oliver's first bite.

"In a perfect Friendship this Appreciative love is, I think, often so great and so firmly based that each member of the circle feels, in his secret heart, humbled before all the rest. Sometimes he wonders what he is doing there among his betters. He is lucky beyond desert to be in such company. Especially when the whole group is together, each bringing out all that is best, wisest, or funniest in all the others. Those are the golden sessions...when the whole world, opens itself to our minds as we talk; and no one has any claim on or any responsibility for another, but all are freemen and equals as if we had first met an hour ago, while at the same time an Affection mellowed by the years enfolds us. Life--natural life--has no better gift to give. Who could have deserved it?"

C.S. Lewis

Resolve.

2011-01-05T15:16:00.000-05:00

So this is 2011, and what will you do?

There are some new years when my mind is really turned to thoughts of new beginnings and resolutions and then other years (and this is usually the norm) where I just have a rollover order of the previous year's goals---normally because I did such a poopy job on 'em the first, second, third, (etc) time.

2010 is a different story. 2010 was a banner year for Erin Jo Merrill when it came to keeping resolutions. Warning: I am about to toot my own horn (I really hate that expression--probably because it has the word "toot" in it)

Kept Resolutions:
32 - pounds lost (Goal was "Lose Weight" Ha! Who says vague goals don't *work?)
27 - books read (Goal was a 2 per month average)
15 - personal journal entries (I was aiming for 1 per month)
0 - servings of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese (Goal was "Don't eat Mac-n-Cheese to Lose Weight")

To celebrate that last one, I thought about treating myself to a bowl of mac-n-cheese, but then Dallin showed me this...

I know that Kraft Mac-n-Cheese is not quinoa with a side of broccoli or anything, but if it's worse than Spaghettio's (yuck!) maybe I should think about just giving it up entirely.

Kurt Vonnegut said, "There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia."

In that same spirit, I submit that there is no reason why we shouldn't be able to keep our New Year's Resolutions as often as we fail to keep them. (Did I say that right?)

I'm still riding the high of 2010's success and feeling like a pillar of resolve right now. I'm going to make new resolutions. I'm going to keep them. I'm going to keep the crap out of them.

*Oops--apparently these people do along with a plethora of others.

19: The world, in solemn stillness, lay to hear the angels sing...

2010-12-25T11:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I will pose thought-provoking questions to myself. Like, "If you could hop on a flight to anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?" or "Erin, why did you eat so much?"

One of my favorites that I like to ask myself and other people is, "If you could time-travel to any moment in history, which would you choose?" I have a hard time settling on just one answer, but always in my top 5 is the night of Christ's birth. I envy the shepherds who were able to listen to the angel of the Lord bringing them "good tidings of great joy" and hear the heavenly hosts proclaiming "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." I would love to know how that angelic choir sounded.

I think Handel may have felt the same way, and his Messiah oratorio probably comes closer than any other music out there in recreating those joyous strains. The first time I went to a Messiah sing along was my sophomore year in college. The second time was two nights ago with my mom and Dallin. We went to the annual performance held at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in DC. We were in line for 2 1/2 hours in the cold, but it was worth the wait. It was amazing to sing the Hallelujah chorus with 2,000+ other people. At one point, the conductor told the audience "Whether or not you are a believer, it is still one of the greatest stories ever told."

During the intermission, I wanted to go over some of the choral parts that were coming up in the second half, so I started digging around through my purse. Dallin asked what I was looking for. "My tuning fork," was my answer. "Really, you carry a tuning fork in your purse?" It was only then it occurred to me that a tuning fork might be an odd thing to carry in your purse. Dallin, you didn't marry a history, engineering, or exercise science major. You married a music major--deal with it.

18: It doesn't show signs of stopping...

2010-12-24T20:46:00.000-05:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year, but it's also the busiest. I should have thought about this when I committed to blogging for 25 days straight, especially given my blogging track record in general. Nevertheless, I still have a few Christmas memories left to share...
Four years ago during my senior year at BYU, the plan was to fly home for the Christmas holidays on the 23rd. My mom works for Continental airlines, and I usually flew standby on flights thanks to her job benefits. While this saved us bundles of money on airfare, we were always at the mercy of the flight loads. Most of the time I was getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning to catch an early flight that no one else wanted to fly on.

This particular year a terrible blizzard hit Denver and wreaked havoc on all of the flight schedules in the Western part of the country. People on cancelled flights were rolled over to the next available one, and it didn't bode well for me and my chances of getting out of Salt Lake the day as planned. Sure enough, I spent the 23rd and Christmas Eve sitting in the airport watching as plane after plane took off with every seat taken and no room for me.

I took a shuttle back to my apartment late in the afternoon on Christmas Eve. All of my roommates had gone home, and I felt like I was the only one left on 7th East just south of campus. I did laundry. I cleaned. I called home and whined about how lonely I was. My brother was still in Provo. He had planned all along to fly out on Christmas, and it occurred to me later that evening that maybe we could spend Christmas Eve together. We were brother and sister, after all, and we kind of liked each other, right? So I bundled up and walked over to his place--a good 2 miles in sub-freezing temperatures (why didn't I call and have him come pick me up? I don't know.) We watched Arrested Development the whole night, and I think we ended up eating hamburgers for dinner or something...

17: It's Christmas time in the city...

2010-12-17T13:08:00.000-05:00

Caroling is fun. It's kind of corny and can be a little awkward at times, but it's still fun. It definitely is an easy way to get me in the Christmas spirit. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear, right?

My favorite caroling experience happened in 2004 when I went to NYC to visit friends between finishing finals and heading home for Christmas. On one of the nights of my visit, we sang Christmas carols on the corner outside of the LDS Temple along with probably 50 or 60 other young LDS adults who lived in the city. Our conductor was getting a DMA in Conducting at The Juilliard School and was incredibly enthusiastic. He was bouncing all over the place. His expressions changed constantly as he tried to mirror in his face what he wanted to hear coming out of our voices. It may have been comical except that it also worked. We sounded terrific, and people were noticing.

The Manhattan Temple sits across from Lincoln Center and the Juilliard School, and there's a large amount of foot traffic in that area. Many walked by us a little slower to catch a few lines and then continued on. Some actually stopped to listen to a few songs. There were others who stopped and sang with us and even some who danced and bounced around with the conductor. All of the passersby wore smiles on their faces and were universally cheerful in a way that can only be attributed to this wonderful time of year.

As we sang both sacred and secular carols, there was one in particular that seemed to have been written for the exact setting that I found myself in. I think everyone else there was aware of this, too, because it seemed as if we sang with added enthusiasm:

City sidewalks, busy sidewalks
Dressed in holiday style
in the air there's a feeling of Christmas.
Children laughing, people passing,
meeting smile after smile
and on every street corner, you'll hear

Silver bells silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring a ling hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas day

Strings of street lights
Even stop lights
Blink a bright red and green
As the shoppers rush
home with their treasures

Hear the snow crunch
See the kids bunch
This is Santa's big scene
And above all this bustle
You'll hear

Silver bells, silver bells
It's Christmas time in the city
Ring-a-ling, hear them sing
Soon it will be Christmas day

Dallin and I are catching a bus tonight up to NYC to spend the weekend with dear friends and looking forward to creating more Christmas memories in the city.

15, 16: Memories from 3rd Grade...

2010-12-16T19:51:00.001-05:00

Dallin's dad was in DC recently for work, and he brought us a box that we had accidentally left behind when we moved this past summer. It contained mostly old journals and childhood mementos of mine. I've read through some of my old high school journals these past few days. Most of the entries have been filling me with self-loathing. I also read through a collection of essays I wrote in 3rd grade. I thought I'd share some of them here as part of my Christmas memories...

15: York Convalescence Center
"On December 3 we went on a field trip to York Convalescence Center. We sang to the old people. We sang Christmas songs. All the thierd graders sang two songs. The old people liked it. One of the songs were in sighn language (note: I could spell 'convalescence', but I couldn't spell 'third' and 'sign'?) for the deaf people. We sang Christmas songs because it was almost Christmas, and the old people don't get much of Christmas. I hope they will have a merry Christmas."

I hope "the old people" will forgive my 3rd grade ignorance and lack of tact...and I still hope they will have a Merry Christmas :)

16: Christmas At My House
"On Christmas morning 1993, my brother and me woke up early to see our presents. I saw a big present. I looked at it very close. It said ERIN. I couldn't wait to open it. We saw lots of presents. Then we looked in our stockings. After that my parents came down. Mom said we could open our presents. First we opened our stockings. Then we opened our presents. I got a keyboard. It was my favrite gift. My brothers gave it to me. I played a little songs after I opened it. I let my brother play with it. He liked it too. I like to play songs on it. It came with three books. I like this present best because I can learn how to play and I like music. It even plays songs like Silent Night or Deck the Halls. I love my new keyboard. You can even put diffrent instruments on like the harp or the flute. My keyboard is really fun. I got lots more stuff. Then we went to our cousins house in North Carolina. It was fun."

Ok, so I wasn't anything like Tiny Tim as a child. I cared a lot about presents. My keyboard still remains one of my favorite presents to this day. I love playing the piano, and I can give full credit to that keyboard for sparking my interest. Thanks, Eric and Jeremy.

14: And the children say he could laugh and play...

2010-12-14T12:50:00.000-05:00

I remember the first time I built a snowman. I was probably around five years old, and my dad helped me.

Even when building a snowman, my dad took a very analytic approach. Any time we embarked on a new experience, there was the requisite preparatory briefing---no doubt a byproduct of his military career--and snowmen were no exception. I don't remember exactly, but I'm sure it went something like, "Now Erin, the key to building a good snowman is to keep the snow compact"...."it's important that you start with a good foundation on a level surface"...."we want to make sure that the three snowballs are proportionate to each other with an approximate size ratio being...." (I stopped there because I have no idea what the ratio would be! "What's a battle?")

At this point, I'd be looking up at my dad with my eyes glazed over, my mouth hanging open slightly, probably thinking about ponies, until he'd give the go ahead to start. I immediately awoke from my stupor and began to gather snow. I remember it being slow-going at first, mostly because my dad would have to repeat all of the tips from his briefing. (I promise that as I got older I learned to listen better because, in spite of my teasing and eye-rolling whenever my dad started up, I knew he was always right)

Once we had our snowman formed, it was time for the fun stuff. My dad went inside in search of accessories while I hunted around for sticks and "very small rocks" (there's a Monty Python quote for all scenarios). We used buttons for his eyes, rocks for the mouth, and a carrot for his nose. We tied a scarf around his neck and attached sticks for arms. I really wanted to give him a top-hat--after all, it's what brought Frosty to life!---but how many people own a top hat? I decided that a knitted cap was an acceptable alternative, and our snowman was complete. It may have been one of the proudest moments in all of my five years.

The rest of the day I was consumed by the idea of my snowman coming to life. I would sneak peaks out the window to check on him. Sometimes I would hide at the corner of our apartment building and quickly poke my head around, trying to catch my snowman off guard. I'd go and eye the distance he was from the building to see if he had moved at all. A few days later, he melted in the exact same spot where he had been raised. It may have been one of the saddest moments in all of my five years...

10,11,12: Christmas Sketches

2010-12-13T08:44:00.000-05:00

I promise I haven't forgotten my memories. This past weekend was just busier than usual, and I didn't find time to post anything. To make up for the missed days, I present to you some Christmas vignettes and resolve to get back on track this week...

10: It's fun to see the houses decorated for Christmas. Some years my family would go driving through neighborhoods just to "Ooh and aah" at all the Christmas lights. I loved admiring (sometimes criticising) the different styles and approaches to decorating as we made our way down the streets. I think I personally prefer the less-is-more approach to Christmas decorations. When we lived in Virginia, my mom would set a single candle in each window of our colonial-style house, and I absolutely loved it. I loved the simple elegance of it. When we would pull in to our driveway at night, those little lights glowing in the windows made the house look so inviting and peaceful. Now that I'm back in Virginia, I realize that my mom may have been inspired by the regional trends because there are so many houses around here with windows lit by these Christmas candles.

11: Common stocking stuffers in the Speight/Lopez family included Coca Cola Gummy Bears and Ritter Sport Chocolate bars--Ritter Sport's factories are located right outside of...surprise!..Stuttgart, Germany! Also usually found were your everyday hygiene/toiletry items...razors, lotions, hair-ties (or scrunchies if we're talking mid-90s). My sister, Katie, had a Beanie Baby phase, and Santa put a few of those in her stocking one year. What I love about our stockings particularly was that they were all knit by my Grandma Jean. She used knitting patterns that she learned from close family friends, the Affeltrangers, while living in Panama. Whenever I visited any of their homes around Christmas time while I was in college, I would see the same stockings hanging from their fireplaces and get excited to be home for Christmas.
12: I don't think I have EVER enjoyed waiting in line to see Santa. The copious amounts of photos with children crying their eyes out as they sit in Santa's lap (including one of my husband) is evidence that I'm not the only one. I think I simply liked believing. I always felt nervous waiting in line as my turn came closer. I didn't want to SEE or have my parents sit me down on the lap of some stranger whose beard was taking up my entire field of vision. Strange? I much preferred writing a letter, addressing it to the North Pole, and sticking it in the mail. Reindeer are a different story. I would LOVE to see a reindeer.

9: It's too early. I never eat December snowflakes.

2010-12-09T18:59:00.000-05:00

I love A Charlie Brown Christmas. Really, who doesn't?
I love watching it every year including a few days ago while Dallin and I put up our tree. I love Snoopy decorating his dog house for the Christmas decorations contest, and I always giggle when he dances on top of the piano. I love when they discuss the ripeness of snowflakes. I get misty-eyed when Linus quotes those sacred verses from Luke all alone on that stage---telling us what Christmas is really all about. I love, love, love the music! Listening to it, playing it on the piano, or dancing to it, I love it. My brother and I like to mimic the different Peanuts characters' dance moves during the dance scene to "Linus and Lucy" (they're harder than they look!)

I know that this is a beloved tradition for so many of us. I read this great article about the making of A Charlie Brown Christmas in the Washington Post and thought I'd post the link here.

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/comic-riffs/2010/12/post_17.html?hpid=artslot

Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!

8:The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the snow...

2010-12-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

When we lived in Stuttgart, (another Germany memory, I know--I think it's because they're my earliest and I naturally tend towards chronological order?) the military base would organize a Christmas tree expedition every year. I say 'expedition' because from my recollection, we (the army families living on base) went in a sort of caravan to some trail head, got out and went our own separate ways into the forest in search of a Christmas tree---in reality, I'm sure it was probably just some choose and cut tree farm, but I'll let my memory romanticize it.

I remember roaming around the woods, following my dad in whichever direction he set out in. As aimless as our wandering seemed, I didn't worry about getting lost--that's what dads are for, right? I wish I could post some of the pictures we have from these expeditions, but they are all tucked away in family albums in Texas. They show my dad, Eric, and me standing in the middle of the woods in the snow (up to my knees), my dad holding a big ax. In between us stood the tree we had finally selected after an intense vetting process conducted by the three of us.

After this picture is taken, the hacking begins. It was exciting at first to watch my dad chopping away like Paul Bunyan, but after a while I remember feeling impatient to get the tree back to our apartment to decorate and, more importantly, put presents under. Once the felling of the mighty tree was complete, we hauled it back to the trail head where a trailor was waiting to transport the trees safely back to base.

As I watched all the other families load their trees in, too, I began to worry. "How were we supposed to know which tree was ours when we unloaded them?" I kept thinking to myself. But again, these kinds of worries are best left up to grownups, and I decided that mom and dad would know which tree was ours. Still, I think I remember warning my dad that some of the other families might try to take our tree once they saw it (ours was obviously the best), and he should make sure to keep a close eye while they unloaded.

It was only until the tree was set up in our living room and decorated in all of its Christmas glory that I began to rest easy from my suspicions of tree sabotage.

7: Baby, All I want for Christmas is yooouuuuu

2010-12-07T15:35:00.000-05:00

When I was about 8 years old, I was obsessed with MTV. Does that sound terrible? Let me explain! This was when MTV was strictly music videos, and it's my brothers' fault! That's my explanation.

The reason I loved MTV so much also had to do with who my favorite artists were around this time: Michael Jackson and Mariah Carey. The channel was inundated with their music videos. Mariah Carey was entering the heyday of her career, and the videos for "Dreamlover" and "Hero" were playing every other second.

When it was announced that Mariah Carey would be releasing a Christmas album in 1994, it immediately lodged itself at the top of my Christmas wish list. In fact, I wanted this album so much that it blinded me to anything else I might have wanted. When my parents would ask, "Erin Jo, what do you want for Christmas this year?" I'd answer without even blinking "the Mariah Carey Christmas CD"...."Is there anything else you want?"....."Duuuhhh....I don't know"

A few days before Christmas I remember my dad coming in the house singing a Christmas song. He stopped and was silent for a moment. "How come we don't have any Christmas music playing?" he asked. He looked over at me, and I just shrugged my shoulders. Then he got this look in his eyes, which I can and will only describe as a "twinkle", as he called to my mom in another room, "Margie, I think we should let Erin open one of her Christmas presents a few days early!" I think they probably regretted this decision later on after hearing that album play nonstop until New Year's.

Fortunately for everyone, my love for Mariah faded long before "Glitter" came out.

6: Jolly Old Saint Nikolaus

2010-12-06T16:31:00.000-05:00

The Germans really know how to do Christmas. I've already mentioned the Advent calendars, but they also have these incredible Christmas markets that we loved going to as a family. I remember at one of these markets, my mom bought me a cup of hot cider that came in a beautiful crystal glass with a slender handle. Engraved on the glass was a picture of the Christmas market there in Stuttgart, Germany. (Mom, do you still have those glasses?) It took me forever to drink the cider because I kept admiring the image in between sips.
I think my favorite tradition that we adopted during the time we lived in Germany was the celebration of St. Nikolaus Day! St. Nikolaus Day is celebrated on December 6th in Germany as well as in other European countries. On the evening before the 6th, children place their newly cleaned shoes in front of the door in the hope that Nikolaus might fill them with sweets. If the children have behaved well, their wishes will be fulfilled. Children who have misbehaved will receive only sticks and twigs.

St. Nikolaus Day helped relieve some of the agony I felt as a child waiting for Christmas to come. (It's funny how now I wish the month of December would just slow down!) I remember excitedly placing my shoes outside my bedroom door before I went to sleep and waking up to find them filled with sweets and goodies indicating that St. Nikolaus had indeed visited our house. I would look over at my brothers' shoes, dismayed to see candy in theirs as well, instead of sticks.

5: Love's pure light...

2010-12-05T19:34:00.001-05:00

In a little bit, Dallin and I are going to listen to the broadcast of the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. I think it's safe to declare this devotional as one of the favorite traditions of the Christmas season for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. It's an annual devotional always held on the first Sunday of December at the Conference Center in Salt Lake City where the head leaders of the LDS church share messages of Christ and of this season when we celebrate His birth. Along with these messages, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square perform Christmas music throughout the devotional.

While I was attending BYU, I had the opportunity to go to a couple of these devotionals. The last one I attended was in December of 2006. My dad, mom, and sister had flown up from Texas to go to it with me, my brother, and Dallin (Dallin's sister, Melissa, was wonderful to get us that many tickets.)

Dallin and I had just recently got engaged, so I was already feeling pretty euphoric. We had great seats, and the conference center's beautiful decorations along with the beautiful words and music seemed to radiate a peace and warmth to all in attendance. I remember looking down the row at the faces of my family, my parents at the end holding hands. The choir began to sing Silent Night--and the swelling chords and holy words of that hymn resonated in my heart.

This sweet memory from that devotional has become all the more poignant and sacred to me in the years that have followed---years marked by illness and loss. I think of those perfect moments spent with my dear family and feel so much joy in the birth of the Savior and all that it signifies---that He was "born to raise the sons of Earth, born to give them second birth." I look forward with hope to the day when my family will all be together again.

4: Performance Anxiety

2010-12-04T17:15:00.001-05:00

I have been playing the flute for almost 15 years now. I have struggled with a bad case of stage fright for almost 15 years now, too. Performance anxiety is something every musician has to deal with, but usually there comes a point where, after innumerable concerts and solos and recitals, this anxiety is eventually overcome or at least decreased in severity.

I am still waiting for this to happen to me.

During the Christmas season of my senior year in high school, I was slated to perform a flute solo as part of a Christmas Musical Program that my stake put on annually. A 'stake' is used by the Mormon church as a collective term for all the LDS congregations in a geographical region. The Corpus Christi stake consists of around 10 or 11 congregations, so this program was presented to a fairly large audience.

The night of the performance came, and I was in my usual state of nervous anticipation as I sat waiting for my turn to perform. I kept taking in deep breaths, exhaling slowly. I was rubbing my hands together to keep them from sweating. When the time came for my musical number, I climbed the few steps up to the stage and laid my music on the stand. The venue was incredibly dark aside from the bright spotlight that was shining on me--so bright in fact that as I looked out, I couldn't even see the hundreds of people that would be listening, which in a way helped calm my nerves. My solo started, and though I'm sure those sitting in the first few rows could see my shaking fingers, I managed to play perfectly fine to the end of the song. When it was over, I mentally said a prayer of gratitude and began to exit the stage.

At this point, the glaring spotlight turned off, leaving me in utter darkness right as I was about to make my way down the three or four steps off the stage. I missed a step and abruptly fell flat on my face with a loud thud that seemed to reverberate throughout the entire hall. As I lay there sprawled on the floor, a little dazed, my mind kept telling me that I should be feeling really embarrassed in that moment. I think if it had happened in any other circumstance, I would have felt extremely so. But I was still so thankful for not botching my performance that all I could think, as I picked myself up off the floor and smoothed my dress out, was "Meh, I can live with this."

3: Tasty Traditions

2010-12-03T14:19:00.000-05:00

I cannot think of many Christmas traditions that have lasted more than a few years in my family. I think we enjoyed changing it up every year. The words "We have to do [insert whatever] because it's tradition" were never really common in our house around the holidays. We'd have changing Christmas dinner menus--one year turkey, another year stuffed pork chops, then maybe a London broil (Dad made it up so tasty!) Some years we would have a family program on Christmas Eve, others not. It's fun to go see a movie on Christmas day, but I don't think we ever felt tied to it by a sense of traditional duty. Some of you in my family may disagree with these thoughts on tradition (or lack thereof), but it's not your blog.....so there! (as she sticks her tongue out).One tradition that stayed constant and secure was my mom's poppy seed bread. Every year she baked countless loaves of it for friends, neighbors, and teachers. I sometimes would serve as her baking assistant. My duties included wrapping the bread in tin foil and tying a red piece of yarn or ribbon around each of them. Probably the job I took most seriously, though, was licking the left-over batter from her mixing bowl once the baking was done for the day. I've continued this tradition since I've been married and given loaves to co-workers and neighbors. Along with baking more this year, I'm sharing this delicious recipe here. WARNING: It will make you fat.

Ingredients

3 Cups flour
3 eggs
1 1/2 Cups oil
1 1/2 Cups milk
1 1/4 Cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 tsp almond flavor
1 1/2 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 tsp butter flaver
1 1/2 TBS poppy seed

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl for 2 minutes
Pour mixture into 3-5 small baking tins
Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 mins

2: When it snows, ain't it thrilling?

2010-12-02T12:14:00.000-05:00

When you're a kid, snow is always magical, but never so much as when it comes on a school day. I remember rushing downstairs with my siblings the mornings of prospective snow days to find my mom already waiting in the kitchen with the radio on. A voice could be heard reading off a list of schools that were closed for the day, but I would only have ears for one in particular. Once we heard the blessed name that secured our freedom, we'd jump up and down, run around the house, joyously shout, start hyperventilating, and then collapse on the living room floor. After sufficient recovery, we'd be out the door, ready for the requisite "play" that lasted the rest of the day.

Before moving west to enjoy the mild winters of south Texas, the Speight/Lopez kids passed numerous holiday seasons in snow-filled... bliss? Maybe bliss isn't the right word for my brothers--perhaps 'warfare' is more appropriate. I remember Eric and Jeremy would construct these elaborate snow forts (at least to my eyes) and then defend them from their neighborhood enemies through fierce snowball fights. I was usually excluded from these battles after much whining and pleading on my part. My brothers had an arsenal of reasons for this exclusion, "You're too little"..."the fort's not big enough"..."we throw too hard," but the excuse that trumped all and would finally send me away was simply "NO GIRLS ALLOWED." Unlike the others, I couldn't argue with this reason because as much as I may have resented it at the time, I knew I was, in fact, a girl.

So I would leave, condemned to making snow angels or sledding with other girls who had been cast off by their older brothers. It's hard to stay embittered on a snow day, though, and my sorrows were soon forgotten in the fun diversion of these "girlish" enterprises.

Probably one of my favorite parts of a snow day was coming home at the end of it. We would be flushed and exhausted as we came through the door. The cold that I had felt impervious to all day now seemed to penetrate every part of my body. My mom was always there to help me out of my wet socks and clothes and give me a warm set and blanket to wrap up in. My dad would have a fire going and fix cups of hot chocolate for us to drink as we toasted marshmallows. The cold was swept away and feelings of warmth and weary contentment permeated at the close of what seemed to me, a perfect day.

On the first day of Christmas...

2010-12-01T16:11:00.000-05:00

When I was ein kleines Kind living in Germany, my mom would give me an advent calendar every year when December came around. She only did this during the years we lived there, which seems appropriate as the advent calendar's origins are Deutsch. Happiness was opening a little door each day and finding chocolaty goodness waiting there just for me. When the prize had been claimed and enjoyed, the 24 hour waiting period until the next door could be opened seemed interminable.

My patience always started out well-fortified but was usually spent by the time my brother's birthday came around on the 10th. At this point I would begin to rationalize in my child's mind why I could open two doors in stead of one on a particular day. The pricks of guilt my young conscience would feel subsided a little more every time I cheated and took an extra chocolate. I remember one day, however, greedily taking not two, but three chocolates instead of the allotted one, and all the guilt came rushing back in a prickling frenzy. I resolved to be good again and only have one chocolate each day that was left until Christmas. By that time, though, it was too late and 5 or 6 days before Christmas, I found myself tasting the bitter fallout of instant gratification instead of sweet German chocolate.

I was thinking about this childhood memory as Dallin and I drove down to North Carolina to be with family for Thanksgiving. It was followed by other sundry Christmas recollections, triggered usually by whatever Christmas song was playing on our car stereo. Many of the memories were happy. There were those that were sad and some that were sacred. As I played and turned them over in my mind, though, I felt that all of them were precious and dear to me.

The idea of recording these memories in an advent calendar kind of format began to work its way in to my head, and I've decided to do just that on our blog. It's self-indulgent, I know---my journal might serve as a better setting since I'm mostly writing them to please myself, but I also think there are some readers, particularly family, who might enjoy sharing in these memories, too. Plus, a blog gives me a heightened sense of accountability for a daily project like this...

SO, from now until Christmas feel free to open our blog "door" each day and be granted a small taste of Christmas or holiday sweetness. You'll probably find that many of the memories/experiences are not dissimilar to your own :) Please share them in your comments if you'd like!

Baseball in October

2010-11-07T20:20:00.000-05:00

Dallin celebrated his 11th birthday with a bad case of the stomach flu. While he spent the day throwing up, he missed out on all of the fun sundry activities planned for his birthday, including the Rangers game that a friend had invited him to. As luck would have it, Kenny Rogers ended up pitching a perfect game that day. Up until this past summer, Dallin referred to his 11th birthday as his worst.

On the same day 16 years later Dallin was in the midst of taking the Texas state Bar exam. His reward for making it through 3 years of law school was a summer filled with 8 to 10-hour days of studying and a grueling three day exam---the outcome of which would determine whether or not he could even be an attorney. When Dallin wasn't studying, we bought $10 tickets to go watch the Rangers play baseball in Arlington. We went to games in 100+ degree heat, we went to games on dollar hotdog night, and we even went to a game where a fan fell from the upper deck to the lower as he tried to catch a foul ball...(he was okay!)

In Texas, baseball is meant to be played in October (breezy, low 80s, lovely), and this year the Rangers got their chance for the first time in 11 years. As fortune and wonderful in-laws would have it, we were able to catch a plane from DC to Dallas and go to Game 2 of the ALCS. It would have been terribly ironic had Dallin woken up running for the toilet the morning of the game, but we went in perfect health and had a blast watching the Rangers beat the Yankees. Thanks again, Dave and Margo :)

The cherry on top of all this is that we just received Dallin's Bar results....from now on, please only address him as Dallin Merrill, Esq. :)

On stinkbugs and Oprah...

2010-10-28T15:46:00.000-04:00

We have all been hearing about the bed bugs that are tormenting residents of NYC, but did you know that there is a new insect that's becoming in vogue?

That's right...stink bugs are the new bed bugs. They came over from Asia, which gives them additional "hip" points because they are international (at least Christian Lander would say so...) Anyway they are just loving the mid-Atlantic region of our United States these days, and I've read they've even started showing up in New York. Maybe the stink bugs think they can make a Yankees hat even more famous than Jay-Z can....

I posted a link below to one of the numerous articles out there covering the stink bug infestation

They open with this statement:

"Some are calling it the next big insect epidemic"

which might as well read "Some are calling it Erin Jo's personal hell"

http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/09/22/beyond-bed-bugs-stink-bugs-seize-hold-of-mid-atlantic-states/

Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a major bug phobia. I have a list of bugs that I can tolerate (like honey bees, leaf cutter ants, and itsy-bitsy spiders) as long as they leave me alone and an even smaller list of bugs I actually like (pretty much just butterflies and ladybugs). The rest go on Erin's Kill List, especially if they are in my living space.

I don't know when this irrational fear began exactly---I can remember climbing trees as a kid and letting daddy long-legs scamper across my arms without even flinching--but I think it started with our moving to Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas including the bugs. They are on insect-growth hormones I'm sure. The cockroaches in south Texas are a force to be reckoned with. I was/am terrified of them and would usually leave the squashing business to my dad, brothers, or whatever boyfriend I had at the time....so...yeah, just my dad and brothers. My dad was my main go-to guy. If I asked one of my brothers to do the killing, I ran the risk afterwards of being chased mercilessly around the house by them as they held the dead roach in a paper towel. Brothers can be cruel.

Then I married Dallin. My Knight in Bug-Killing Armor. Along with other things that contribute to marital bliss is the fact that I have a full-time squasher at my disposal....except when he's at work. That's where Oprah comes in. Over the past couple of days, there have been 3 stink bugs that have gotten in to the apartment. When I spotted the first one I was overcome with that familiar feeling...the tightening of the chest, the quickening heartrate, the tensing of the muscles.

Dallin wasn't going to be home for hours. What was I supposed to do? I knew very well I wouldn't get anything done at home while that smelly enemy was stalking around on the ceiling. I frantically cast my eyes about, and they locked on the Oprah magazine my mom had brought me the last time she visited. I started to feel courage. It's a thick magazine. My courage strengthened. "It has to be you, Erin", I solemnly told myself. I rolled up Oprah's smiling face (I think I could hear her whispering, "You go girl") and slowly approached the bug, my adrenaline rushing. I struck quickly. Success! I may or may not have let out a war cry.

I have never seen an entire episode of Oprah on television, but in that moment, as I held her magazine covered in stink-bug guts, I felt empowered as a woman. She was my faithful comrade in the next two stinkbug battles that followed, and I am now thinking about ordering a monthly subscription.

So thank you, Oprah, for this breakthrough. I feel like a stronger woman, and I'm sure you wouldn't have it any other way.

Welcome to the Nation's Blog...

2010-09-17T13:09:00.000-04:00

or maybe the National Blog or American Blog? I haven't decided which title to go with, yet, but it does seem to be the trend here in DC. The National Gallery, American University, Reagan National Airport, the Nation's Triathlon are just some of the many examples we have noted. If none of those suit your tastes, the name of any US President will also suffice.

We've been here in the DC metro area (Alexandria, VA to be exact) for a little over a month now and are slowly but steadily beginning to learn our way around.

Things learned (some of them painfully): 1)Traffic is bad. Always. 2)Five Guys originated in Arlington. 3) A giraffe has special one way valves in its long neck that prevent too much blood from flowing to its head when it bends over to drink water (thank you, Natural History Museum) and 4)We will never make enough money to afford one of the historical townhomes gracing the streets of Old Town Alexandria that I am constantly swooning over.

Before you start to worry, let me assure that we aren't SO familiar with DC that we have become pretentious about it, yet. You'll know we have reached that level when we start referencing obscure local bakeries and independent left-leaning bookstores in our posts. We will probably also post pictures of places that we'll claim to be "less touristy"---touristy being on par with a four-letter word, of course. In the meantime, we continue to enjoy being tourists in this new place we call home.

This is where Dallin goes to work everyday (I made him take this picture) He is a couple of blocks from the White House, which I think is fun. I'm sure the novelty of it has worn off for him.

The Rangers played the Orioles not too long after we moved, so to Baltimore we went. Hey look, you can even see Cliff Lee in the background giving up his 4th homerun that day!

Paying a social call to Michelle.

I had called the tomato horn caterpillar that morning to see what she was going to be wearing.

At the Ford's Theater where Lincoln was assassinated. Maybe I should look more somber, but I also think President Lincoln would be happy that the Merrills enjoy American history.

Dallin with Grama, Uncle Bob, and KK. My Speight family in North Carolina is so happy we are close by. We are so happy, too! We went down to visit over Labor Day weekend. The weekend was filled with family fun including an intense game of badminton, delicious food, Pirate football, and beautiful weather. North Carolina is such a beautiful state. We are looking forward to many more visits in the future.

Cousins

We did get a picture where we both have our eyes open and are smiling at the camera, but what's funny about that?

Grama Mildred teaching me how to make chicken pastry...a traditional meal in the Speight family. It was decided that weekend that I would be the one to carry on with the tradition. I think Grama is telling me here not to be scared of the pastry....

Summertime and the living is easy...

2010-07-09T18:26:00.000-04:00

That is--easy for me. Dallin is feverishly/furiously/relentlessly/studiously/etc,etc. studying for the bar exam he will be taking at the end of this month (over his birthday....brutal.) I have been visiting family and friends in Corpus and in Florida. Here are some updates:

Dallin graduated from law school. Huzzah!

But that means leaving St. Louis. Boo (urns)!! and my job at the City Museum.

Whilst Dallin was studying, I visited Florida--first Destin to see my grandparents, then down to Orlando with mom, Aunt Connie, and Krissy for the Panama Canal Zone reunion.

Aunt Judy was there, too! We danced into the wee hours every night.

Look how giddy I look? My mom's expression reads, "Okay, Erin, you love Disney World, we know...sigh..."

I, in turn, was able to roll my eyes at my mom's reaction to Captain Sparrow. She was so swoony.

It's A Small World

Don Quixote and Sancho :)

The reunion closed with performances of Panama's traditional folklore dances (Pollera)

My Florida snuggle buddy....whose name also happens to be Buddy...

Dallin has taken a job in D.C., so that is where we will be heading after the bar exam. We are excited to be living in a place that our friends and family will like to visit. We need all the pull we can get. Now we can dangle national monuments and the Hope Diamond to woo them (not literally, of course, unless it's like a keychain replica or somethin'). We will also be close to my family in North Carolina. When I told my grama we were moving to D.C., she exclaimed in her Carolina accent, "Well thank the lord!"

P.S. Dallin and I have been watching a LOT of MST3K this summer. Bliss. I have a celebrity crush on Tom Servo.

Katie got married....

2010-02-10T13:14:00.000-05:00

In January (I know, I'm a horrible blogger)! Does anyone even check this anymore? I had every intention of posting about it soon after, but....I didn't. That's it--no good excuses. Enjoy.Mmmm...Texas BBQ. Great choice, Katie and Kenny. Kenny is Katie's husband, by the way...he's okay, I guess ;)

Preeetty. I'm glad the horse didn't buck you two off....I guess.

Sid was one of the cowboy parking attendants.

Our friends, the Browns, offered their beautiful ranch as the reception site.

Eric made a lovely bridesmaid.

The Griffins

Happy, happy, joy, joy. (Is that from Ren and Stimpy?) The End.

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky...

2010-01-28T13:44:00.000-05:00

The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times,
Ring out, ring out, thy mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

I really love these particular stanzas of Lord Tennyson's poem, especially the imagery evoked of bells ringing out to the wild, wintery sky in the frosty light. Right now, Dallin and I are all about ringing out with the old and in with the new...even when the new can be somewhat terrifying. Two words: Job. Search.

While we have already begun diving in to 2010 head first like Pete Rose,

We wanted to share some more 2009 highlights with you. We hope that all of your wildest dreams come true in 2010.

We spent Thanksgiving in Destin, FL with my grandparents. Thank you, Grandma and Eddie for living in such a beautiful place where we can visit :)

Hiking along the Meramec River at Castlewood State Park near St. Louis.

Baking muffins with Little Sister, Tikia'yia. I didn't have a picture of us enjoying the muffins, but they were mmm, mmm, good.

A fun girls weekend with Margy and Bex

City Museum is so much fun. Come visit us before we leave, and we will take you there :)

The stars aligned and Dallin and I went to Disney World for his Spring Break. $99 for a 5-day pass!

Yes, we waited in line with all of the wee ones and their parents, so we could get our picture taken with Mickey.

Dedication Ceremony for the Al Speight Multipurpose Railyard

2010-01-21T14:21:00.001-05:00

Eric saying a few words about Dad

After the ceremony by the memorial, unfortunately Jeremy had to work that day

Sandy Sanders--Dad persuaded him to leave D.C. and come work at the port, he also is a fellow West Point grad

Former state representative and current port commisioner, Judy Hawley presenting a proclamation from Governor Rick Perry

Unveiling the monument

Chairman of the Port Commision, Ruben Bonilla, gave my mother an email he had received from Dad not 2 months before he died that provided a 10 point outline on the benefits of wind energy and moving wind turbines through the Port of Corpus Christi--Dad was a big advocate for wind-powered technology

Other port commisioners

Summer highlights...are you starting to see a trend here?

2009-09-09T22:04:00.000-04:00

Okay, this is a long one! I'll keep the captions brief. Summer found Dallin and me apart while he worked at a firm in Dallas, and I stayed up in St. Louis. We managed to see eachother on many of the weekends and got through the three months in spectacular fashion! Thank you to all of the dear family members who came to visit and keep me company! Enjoy the pictures.... My Little Sister, Kia, and me at the Big Brothers Big Sisters picnic in Forest Park. She was rocking those shades.

Kia striking a pose for the photo scavenger hunt.

Tikia about to get her jump-rope on!

Us at the Science center. Wow, science can be educational and fun.

Visiting Margypants in NY

In front of the Bethesda fountain in Central Park

All this hype with the picture-taking, and it ended up being closed! It was a quick weekend trip, and this was the only thing I really had on my to-do list :( Next time...

Mmmmm...Indian food--it was so delicious.

Waiting in line at Magnolia.

I had the key lime pie, and I think Adam had banana pudding.

My boss, John, arranged a cooking class for our department as a team-building activity. It was a blast! Here is Shannon and Vivian doing some prep work.

John manned the fryer :)

John took this picture, and I can only guess that those are grease spots from the fryer. I think I was making spring rolls here.

Mom sold the house this summer, so Dallin and I went to Corpus for a weekend to help her move. Here she is with one of the last loads to take over to the storage unit! We were sad to move out of the house our family has been in for almost the past 10 years!

This palm was below the roof when we moved in, and now it's probably the tallest in the neighborhood.

Goodbye 622 Colonial! So many great memories.

We fit in a trip to the beach with familia Bolster!

Bex was ready to soak up some rays after being on a mission to Slovenia for the past 18 months!

The All-Star game came to St. Louis this year, and I was part of the crew that spent the whole night before putting commemorative seat cushions on all of the seats! Oh, how my back ached by the end of it! Fortunately my work let me have the next day off!

Walking home from the stadium at 4:30 am, I saw ESPN's Mike & Mike show getting set up for the day's festivities.

My mom and cousin, Krissy,came to visit for a few days. Here's us in front of the Museum of Art.

Walking through the Butterfly house at the zoo.

Squint has come to live with us! As you can tell, he's enjoying living in the lap of luxury after spending his previous 3 years in the Texas heat.

Katie also came for a visit before starting classes again at the Y. You can also see from this picture that Dallin is back in St. Louis! Phew, thank goodness that's over!

He sheds like crazy, but he's so cute, right? Right??

Walking down to the Arch.

Squint loves ME the most, Katie Jean!

And finally, the summer capstone was going down to Dallas to see alma mater, BYU, face off against #3 ranked Oklahoma. That is not a spaceship in the background, but the new Dallas Cowboys stadium. It's massive. Here's Dallin with some of the other people we went to the game with including his brother and Puna, the big Polynesian guy next to him. Puna managed to get on the jumbotron like 5 times during the game.

Dallin before the game. Isn't this stadium gigantic?!

The Cougars warming up!

QB Max Hall

The Cougs about to kick off. What an amazing game! We won 14-13, and the BYU fans were going crazy at the end. Thanks again, Dave and Margo, for inviting us down!

It's hard to believe that it is already Fall again. Every season brings things to look forward to! I am looking forward to a visit from Bex and Margy at the end of this month. Also on the list is being able to make apple cider, pumpkin cheesecake, and butternut squash soup. Dallin is looking forward to college football, eating the food that I make, oh, and also college football :)

What are you looking forward to this Fall?

More Fall/Winter pictures

2009-03-28T17:57:00.000-04:00

Melissa comes to visit St. Louis!

Dallin and Melissa enjoying the autumn weather

This is the old courthouse directly across from the Arch

Christmas at our apartment...Dallin's parents got us this tree when they came up to visit in October. Thank you, Dave and Margo!

Mom and Dad blowing out Dad's birthday candles

Grama and me :)

The Port of Corpus Christi named this property in honor of Dad....

...and flew all the flags at half-mast for him.

Louis, the mascot for the St. Louis Blues hockey team. He dumped a huge bag of popcorn on the people sitting next to us right after I took this picture.

At the Blues game...we both need a tan!

The Corpus Christi Caller Times printed a great article about my dad. Here is the link:

http://www.caller.com/news/2009/jan/24/speight-instrumental-in-advances-for-the-port/

Sorry it's been so long....

2009-03-28T17:03:00.000-04:00

Here is a recap of the past 6 months or so in pictures! Dallin waiting for the cyclists at the end of the week-long Tour of Missouri!

Mom and I heading to the Relief Society General Broadcast

Flowers that Dallin had delivered to my office on my birthday :)

Dad enjoying a piece of the pumkin cheesecake I made on one of the weekends I went home to Texas.

The view from the rooftop of our new apartment building.

The Great Chiweenie was a big favorite amongst the Big Brothers Big Sisters staff at the Tour of Missouri

Swiss Days in Utah right before Katie started Fall semester at BYU

Katie talks to a cow...

There is another picture in one of our family albums of Dad and me when we were actually IN Switzerland

Lots of fun and entertainment at the grand opening of the new Big Brothers Big Sisters building (our building is the one with the blue stripe in the background)

More to come....

PANAMÁ (Part 2)

2008-08-21T11:09:00.000-04:00

The great thing about Summit Gardens--a zoo located near Gamboa-- is how interactive the experience is. A favorite tradition is bringing the monkies crackers.

Dallin absolutely loved those baby monkies.
Dallin being pensive? No, I think he's just trying to spot the hermit crabs you would see scuttling on the sand whenever a wave receded.
I love all the beautiful colors in Panamá.
This is a picture of my brother and me from a trip to Isla Grande a few years ago. I just wanted to show how clear and blue the water is! We arrived later in the day this time around.
Panama's national bird---the Harpy Eagle. Look at those talons. I think Napolean Dynamite would be impressed.

Stopping in Portobelo on the way to Isla Grande. He looked so happy at the idea of having his picture taken, but when I held the camera up, he immediately frowned.
Roberto and Dallin checking on the grill. I guess regardless of nationality, all men get excited about outdoor grilling. This is at Papi's beachhouse on the Pacific side.
Me waiting to go into the Panama City Temple for the dedication! The temple was beautiful. Years ago my grandpa helped the church purchase the land where the Temple is now built.
Palmar--a beach located on the Pacific side. You can't tell from this picture, but the waves were pretty big. My brother Eric can hold his own on a surfboard and would have been thrilled. Unfortunately, the handful of times I had gone surfing in high school did not prepare me. Dallin, the smarter half, stuck with a boogie board and had a blast. Meanwhile I received a merciless pounding from the ocean I love so much.

So well camouflaged! There are some species of frogs in Panamá that are highly poisonous. My mom likes to tell the story of how her cat was killed by one. Dallin and me experiencing Panama City's nightlife with Carlos and his friend, Irene. Here we are at the Niko's in Panama City. Niko's is the equivalent to Denny's here in the states. And like many pictures taken at Denny's, this one was taken around 1 in the morning.
Yum!
Here is that same beach at Isla Grande. The water isn't as blue but still beautiful, and there are some fun coral reefs to explore. We saw lots of cool sealife.
Primos, Carlos y Isalena, at the beachhouse in Gorgona. We stayed up into the wee hours of the morning singing kareoke in Spanish.

A sloth that we saw while driving to Gamboa.

Another shot of Isla Grande.
Panama City's skyline. It seems to get bigger every time I go. The possesive part of me doesn't like all the development and change, but I'm glad that it helps the economy.
Dallin relaxing. During his mission, hammocks were all they slept in.

We had a great time and are looking forward to our next visit. We are also happy that Irving Saladino won Panama's first gold medal this week at the Olympics!

PANAMÁ (Part 1)

2008-08-16T13:36:00.000-04:00

The village of the Emberá (formerly Choco) indians
The dense rainforest of Panamá. The rainy season was in full force,
which made everything nice and green.

Mi primo Carlos. One of my happiest moments on the trip was when he told me that my Spanish had gotten really good since the last time I visited. Of course, it was overshadowed by how impressed they all were with Dallin's Spanish....*sigh*
Dallin and me at one of the old forts in Portobelo.
One of the views from Isla Grande--one of my favorite places
to go on the Atlantic side.

These are the trees that sloths typically like to hang out in.

La cascada that we hiked to. The local tribe claims that if you are
a woman under the age of 35 and swim in it, you will become very fertile
and have twins at the least...we'll see if that's true, I guess.
Emberá tribal dances.
Our hike to the waterfall. The jungle is so alive when you
are in the middle of it. We saw a lot of beautiful wildlife.
¡Tan verde!

One of the resident cayman alligators along with muchas tortugas.

A ship coming through the canal. This is the view from Llori's
house. Llori is a friend my mom grew up with that we like to stop by and visit. She is an amazing artist/decorator, and it seems every time I go she has completely redone the inside of her house.

Dallin and me by the Chagras river. My grandpa
used to live out here for months at a time to take measures
of the river's water level.

A pretty flower in Llori's backyard, although I saw plenty in la selva, too

We're Back! (just like that one animation movie about the dinosaurs...does anyone remember that?)

2008-08-16T11:55:00.000-04:00

We are back in St. Louis and in our new apartment. We moved into this apartment before we left for the summer, but we left most of our belongings still unpacked. Now that we are here again and Dallin is off being a law student, I am faced with the daunting task of deciding where everything should go. I have just spent the last five minutes standing in the middle of the chaos that is our apartment just staring, and so far there hasn't been any inspiration swooping in to rescue me.

The obvious solution was to procrastinate the madness by posting a blog entry. I have had several people tell me now that I need to post about Panama, but I will go back a little before that and cover Dallin's birthday (I have pictures of it, so I might as well), which was spent at my parent's home in Corpus. We had a yummy ice cream cake to celebrate, and we spent a week in Corpus with his little brother Benson. The week was filled with sundry activities including a trip to the aquarium, a Hooks baseball game, time at the beach (Benson got stung by a jellyfish) and of course lots of BBQ.

After that it was a day in Dallas spent packing and worrying about the pesky tropical storm that was to hit Houston the next day (right when we were flying). Fortunately our flight wasn't cancelled, and we left Tuesday morning for the land of my birth. Panama was magnificent as always, and I am fairly sure that I now have Dallin hooked on the country, too.

It was a great summer--now all I need to make it complete is to go see the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants sequel (please don't roll your eyes at me). Dallin has already put his foot down and refused to see it with me, so it looks like I'll be going solo.

See the next post for more details about Panama....

O What Do You Do in the Summertime?

2008-07-21T13:36:00.000-04:00

Dallin and I don't really have any new pictures to post, so I thought I would put up one of The Onion's Weekender covers that has consistently resulted in us busting up laughing whenever we look at it. I hardly know how I am going to get through this entry, in fact, with it right there.

Summer continues on here in Texas. Oh what do you do in the summertime when all the world is green? We have enjoyed swimming in the pool to keep ourselves cool. We have not marched in a parade, but we drink plenty of lemonade--or rather gatorade. (Can you also tell that I have been subbing as the primary pianist at church?)

Dallin has started his last week of his internship. We will then go down to Corpus to spend some time with my parental unit and then on to Panama for 8 days. With each day my anticipation grows! I'm looking forward to seeing family, rainforest, and eating almejas. Here is a picture I took of my Dad when we were there a few years ago (right around the same time, too.) Don't those rainclouds look absolutely fantastic? My parents may or may not come down for some of the time. If they don't then I will definitely miss my mom exclaiming every few minutes..."Oh, that's where.." or "...This is the place where.." and so on.

We hope all of you are enjoying those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer as much as we are ;)

Playing Catchup...

2008-07-01T11:54:00.000-04:00

"My name's Woody. Howdy, howdy, howdy!"

We are sorry that we haven't posted in a while. We are just enjoying all the time we have been spending with our families that we aren't at the computer much. Here is a recap of the past month and a half:

After Dallin finished his finals, we loaded up the XTerra and headed for Texas, but not before we moved everything we were leaving in St. Louis to a new apartment! Next fall we will come back to a fun loft apartment in downtown St. Louis complete with a rooftop view of the Arch. We are excited about that, especially because another couple from church lives there. It will be nice to have friends close by. I was sad to leave my co-workers at Big Brothers Big Sisters. Vivian and John took me out to lunch on my last day. I miss working with them and look forward to seeing them again when we get back. Now that I will be living close to you, Vivian, you better be ready for some serious power-walks! :)

Right now we are in Highland Village while Dallin is interning at a small firm in Dallas. We are staying with his parents, and it has been so fun spending time with them and his brothers, Benson and Bryce. I have also spent about half of the time down in Corpus Christi with my family. While I was down there, I was able to go to Katie's high school graduation. She's the last of the lot! She just started summer term at BYU last week and is keeping pretty busy.

Other adventures include a trip to the cannery with Margo here in Dallas. It was my first experience canning, and it was great! It is such an easy way to do food storage, and you really do feel this sense of security after you've done it--I guess just feeling a little more prepared for life. For those of you reading who may not know, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are encouraged to keep a year supply of food stored in the case of an emergency. With all of the natural disasters and food shortages occurring lately, I have been itching to get started on mine. If you are interested in learning more about food storage, go to http://www.providentliving.org/ and click on Family Home Storage. They have some great tips on how to get started.

I have gone with my Dad up to San Antonio a few times where he is part of a clinical trial, and the last time I went with him, he had two of his former classmates from West Point come hang out with us. It was fun listening to them talk about their time at West Point, although I didn't understand half of what they said with all of the jargon they were using.

Dallin and I were also in San Antonio for our dear friend Margie's wedding! Congratulations Margie! She and her new husband are a perfect match, and we had fun celebrating with them.

Dallin is enjoying his work at the firm where he is interning and is learning a lot. It has been great getting some real-world experience outside of school, and he is looking forward to applying it in his classes next semester. He is also having fun teaching Sunday school to the 11-year olds at church.

I am enjoying having plenty of time to practice flute and piano, and have started teaching flute lessons to a girl from church. It will just be for a month or so, but I'm excited to get some more experience. I have also done plenty of reading--the most recently completed being Wuthering Heights (I have mixed feelings about it) and currently The Red Badge of Courage.

Most of all, Dallin and I have loved being near family. We love them so much and feel so incredibly blessed for every moment spent with them. My parents are coming up to spend the 4th of July with us. Should be a great holiday :)

Recommendations:

iTunes downloads:

Harry Nilsson - "I Guess the Lord Must Be in New York City"

Paul Simon - "African Skies" (one of my all-time favorites)

NetFlix:

"Millions" (I'm sad that I left Margie's copy of it in St. Louis, but probably not as sad as Margie is that I haven't returned it to her)

Now Showing: "Wall-E" See it. Love it.

The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.

2008-05-11T21:51:00.000-04:00

When I was in junior high, we were required to take a reading class. This class was separate from our English class, and all we did was read books and take quizzes. Although most saw it as a blow-off class/free period, I enjoyed it for a number of reasons. One obvious reason was that having an entire hour built into my day to devote to reading was simply bliss. The other reason was my teacher, Mrs. Teel. I think everyone would agree it an understatement to describe junior high as rough. Mrs. Teel was one of the people who helped keep my self-esteem afloat during those gawky years. One day in class, she told me something that I still consider as one of the nicest compliments I have ever received. She told me that if she had a choice to go back and grow up as another person, she would choose me.

Later on that day, I remember telling my mom what Mrs. Teel said to me. I had also given some thought on who I would choose if I could go back and relive life as another person. I told my mom that of course it would be her. I have always loved hearing my mom's stories from when she was growing up and can remember many instances when I was young asking her to tell and retell certain favorites.

My mom grew up in the country of Panama, which served as the backdrop for the majority of her most exciting stories. One time she was driving to the beach with some friends when it was raining. Her friend who was driving took a curve too sharply, and their car skidded off of the road and a steep drop. Fortunately nobody was hurt. Other stories I liked to hear about include when she got lost in the dense rain forest for hours and only after she had knelt down to pray was she able to navigate her way out. Another time she and her friends were canoeing in the canal when their canoe sprung a leak. They had to rely on the dead man's float for hours (out of fear of getting their legs tangled in the reeds) until they were able to get out. There was the movie theater where bats frequently flew across the screen, and the elderly woman who worked there would swat at them with her broom during the show. I loved hearing about the first time she met my dad and made him a milkshake, or how my grandpa would load them all up in the car, drive from Panama to Washington state, and would literally have to chop a path for their car with a machete in the denser parts of Central America.

I really could go on and on with stories about my mom. I never get tired of them. Although we obviously can't relive life in another person's shoes, we can let the lives of others we love influence and shape our own lives. Today I have spent a good deal of time thinking about the many ways my mother has helped shape my life and the person I am. To name a few--a love for all things tropical, a deep appreciation for the beauty in nature and God's creations, looking at all roads in life, especially the ones you didn't expect to take, as "an adventure", putting faith and family first.

Happy Mother's Day and thanks for everything, mom. Most of the good things about me, I attribute to you. I love you :)

Goin' to the Big D, and we DO mean Dallas.

2008-04-27T17:16:00.000-04:00

Dallin's allergies are acting up, and my face is swollen from having my bottom wisdom teeth removed on Friday. Aren't we a fine pair? Dallin's mom, Margo, was so wonderful to fly up on Thursday and be my designated driver and caretaker on Friday morning. I love moms! I was nervous because I have never really been sedated with anesthesia, but it went well enough. I sang parts of Meet Me in St. Louis on the car ride home and tried to wave at people when we were stopped at red lights (because I thought it would be funny...)

Dallin's last day of class is tomorrow, and he begins finals at the end of this week. He was awarded a faculty fellowship with an adjunct professor at Yale who will be teaching here next Fall, so he is excited about starting that this summer as well as working as an intern with a firm in Dallas. Yes, we will be in Dallas over the summer! I am also planning on spending some time in Corpus con mi familia. We are looking forward to our summer plans, and these next couple of weeks will be busy with preparation.

We would like to extend congratulations to some of our deserving friends and family members:

Congrats to Mandy for being done with her 2nd year at BYU and for getting accepted into the Special Education program!
To Bryce on being the new manager of aquatics at the YMCA (we will see you this summer!)
To Katie for getting accepted to BYU and also a special invite to try-outs before Fall semester starts.
To our good friend, Margie, who is getting married in San Antonio this summer!
To Jennie, who is getting married in Nauvoo this summer, too!
To Rob, getting hitched in Salt Lake.
To Chad, also tying the knot in Salt Lake.
To Margy, who was accepted to grad school at Columbia!
To Becky and David who are expecting an addition to their family this Fall!
To Margo for successfully navigating back to our apartment from the oral surgeon's office while I was in la-la-land.

I am sorry that there are no pictures in this post. I thought it would be funny to post a picture of me with blood-soaked gauze stuffed in my cheeks...but then the anesthesia wore off, and I didn't think it was so funny anymore.

2008-04-06T19:54:00.000-04:00

What a great conference weekend! We watched conference via the Internet from the comfort of our apartment. The danger, however, of having conference so accessible at home is the possibility of one getting too comfortable and falling asleep for periods of time, which I admit that I'm guilty of (I apologize to Elder Hales and Elder Scott). The Saturday afternoon session gets me EVERY time. For this reason I am very appreciative of the Ensign conference issue (thanks, Melissa)! That aside, I am glad that I was able to participate in sustaining President Monson as our new Prophet--it was definitely a memorable/wonderful experience.

Another fun thing that Dallin and I did on Friday night was go to our first St. Louis Cardinals baseball game! Big Brothers Big Sisters receives a lot of ticket donations from people in the community, and when we are unable to give all of them away to our matches, they become up for grabs to the staff. This was the case on Friday, so I took two. They were pretty good seats (at least not in the nosebleed section), and the Cardinals won. Also since we didn't spend $70 dollars on the two tickets (what they were valued at), we felt justified in buying two $4 hot-dogs :) Go Cards!

I also want to include that I finished my first week of the very intense fitness program, P90X. I will admit that it completely kicked my glutes, which were incredibly sore for the majority of the week as were most other muscles, but I am very proud of myself. Now I only have 12 more weeks to go! Dallin is very supportive and also kind enough to go to the library whenever I do my workout to spare me the embarrassment of having someone watch while I suffer through!

Have a great week!

2008-04-01T22:15:00.000-04:00

Well I am just going to act like it hasn't been so many months since our last blog and jump right back into it. Alright!

Happy April everybody! In St. Louis so far it has been March showers bring April showers which bring May flowers (hopefully!). We have gotten a ton of rain in the area as I am sure you all have seen on the national weather reports. The dogwoods are starting to bloom, though, and I think it will soon look very beautiful and Spring-like around here.

Dallin is doing well in Law School. It is hard to believe that his finals start in just a month, and he will be finished with his first year! Also for the next four or five weeks he is going to be playing on an intramural soccer team--all law students on his team, so that should be interesting/fun.

We are still serving as ward missionaries in the Lindell Ward and have enjoyed visiting with the ward families in their homes, helping them develop family missionary plans. My co-worker, Vivian, recently attended a sacrament meeting with me, and she really enjoyed it.

We also recently celebrated our 1 Year Anniversary! Woohoo! Wow, did that year fly? We both agree that it has probably been the busiest year of our lives. We loved it! My mom was dear enough to bring up the top tier of our wedding cake when she came to visit recently. Mmm..tasty.

We are going to take a trip in August to Panama during the time they have the Temple dedication. I am excited to show Dallin all of my favorite spots and also be there during the Dedication. We are practicing and refreshing our Spanish everyday--me practicing and Dallin refreshing :)

We promise, promise, promise that we will be better about posting, so don't give up on us, yet! We love all of our dear friends and family and think about you often.

More to come!

Dallin and EJ

Deck The Halls With Ghouls and Goblins!

2007-10-27T14:39:00.000-04:00

People always think it is funny/weird when I tell them that my mom's favorite holiday is Halloween. Growing up there have been some Thanksgivings where we just went and ate at the country club for dinner and one Christmas, we didn't even have a Christmas tree (we just put all of our presents under the coffee table)---but I don't think there has ever been a Halloween where my mom hasn't gone all out decorating the walkway up to our house, making it as spooky as possible for the trick-or-treaters. She would play this "scary sounds" cassette tape (complete with door creaks and high pitched screams), volume full blast, on a stereo propped under a tree all day long on Halloween day. When it came time for trick-or-treaters, she'd have my oldest brother Jeremy stand silent and ominous in a grim reaper costume by our front door....waiting. Most of the kids were too scared to come up to our house, and the ones who braved the walk usually went away in tears (yeah, we were that house). My mom would usually chuckle with a look of satisfaction when this happened, already planning in her head how she could outdo herself next Halloween.

Since Dallin and I currently live in a high-rise apartment building, it will probably be a little while longer before I can carry on my mom's tradition, but let me fill you in on what we have done (or will do) to get in the Halloween spirit:

Rented from NetFlix the movie, Hocus Pocus, one of my childhood favorites :)

Along with renting Hocus Pocus, we have watched snip-bits on TV of a few cheesy horror/slasher movies like Halloween 4 and 5. I guess the producers didn't feel like the story's full potential was reached in the first 3 films (of course they did go on to make like 10 more) and don't forget Leprechaun! Dallin and I mostly just laughed and made funny comments when we watched these (like Mystery Science Theater 3000!)

We will also be attending our church's Trunk-or-Treat tonight, which should be fun.

Of course we have been eating candy, but that usually isn't isolated to Halloween.

As far as costumes go, I think I will wear the Golden Snitch ensemble that I created earlier this summer for the Harry Potter Midnight Magic party at Barnes and Noble---we will see what luck I have in convincing Dallin to dress up like a Nimbus 2000 broomstick

Wishing everyone a Happy Halloween from the Merrills! As my mom would put it, "it's the most wonderful time of the year!"

P.S. Our Halloween movie recommendations for this year:

Hocus Pocus

Ernest Scared Stupid

Sleepy Hollow (clean flix or on TV)

Freddy vs. Jason (Ok, we're kidding)

Meet Me in St. Louis! (Pilot)

2007-10-10T02:12:00.000-04:00

Hello! We've decided to follow the example of some of our friends and create our own blog. Feel free to check in whenever and see how the Merrills in St. Louis are hanging.

Some of the highlights since moving here in early August:

Dallin started his first year of law school at St. Louis University. It's super competetive, and he spends a lot of time studying at the library. While he is enjoying SLU, we both admit that we miss BYU football games.

We live just a couple of blocks from our church building. The majority of the members in our ward are younger couples with usually one or both of the spouses in some sort of graduate program, be it med, law, or doctoral. Everybody is very friendly, and it's made it easier to feel at home in a city/state where we don't have family close by. We were recently called as ward missionaries and are looking forward to working with the full-time missionaries in whatever way we can.

It's been a long, somewhat arduous process, but as of yesterday, I am an employed member of society! After undergoing a long, extensive interview process, I was offered a position as a Recruitment Support Specialist with the non-profit mentorship organization, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Missouri. I'm really excited about the position, and I start tomorrow. If you want to learn more about the organization, go to: http://www.bbbsemo.org/

The offer came at the perfect time, on my birthday! Another great birthday present was having my mom visit for a couple of days followed by Dallin's parents and little brother Benson visiting over the weekend. Although they were only here for a couple of days, we were able to fit a lot in, including a trip to the St. Louis Zoo (already a favorite) and the Science Center. The baby elephant was definitely our favorite! We also went and visited the famous Arch, which we were able to successfully recreate in all of its glory at the Science center.

We are pleasantly surprised at how quickly we are growing to love St. Louis. There is definitely not a shortage of things to do (many within walking distance and FREE), and we like the unique sense of history that's in this city, known in earlier times as the Gateway to the West.